Pay Attention

Yes, this world is full of crime. Every time I turn on the news, someone is getting robbed, shot, and/or stabbed. Unfortunately, that is the world that we all live in. It’s something that many of us have grown accustomed to and realize that in this world, there is going to be crime and unfair circumstances. However, I never thought in a million years that I would have to worry about cops being the ones committing acts of violence. It has never crossed my mind that we might be living in a world where citizens may have to defend themselves from individuals who are supposed to protect us.

What’s more alarming is the amount of people (ahem, white people) that walk around with blinders on and think that the deaths of Eric Garner, Michael Brown, and various other Black men that died from the hands of a police officer, is not about race. Oh, really? Well, if it’s not about race, how come it’s mostly white officers killing Black men? If it’s not about race, why is it that Black men are the ones that have to constantly deal with racial profiling? If it’s not about race, why was the massive march in New York even necessary? If it’s not about race, why do we have celebrities speaking out about the injustice of Black men? If it’s not about race, why did we have white people on Twitter willfully admitting to getting away with crimes that a Black person would’ve easily been arrested for? The reason why these things are happening is because unfortunately, RACE DOES MATTER.

A couple of weeks ago, there was an individual on Facebook who felt the need to justify the wrongful death of Michael Brown by telling everyone in complete detail of what it takes to be a police officer. He elaborated by telling people about how cops have to put their lives on the line every day and that they go thru intensive training in order to deal with the outside world. I don’t doubt for one minute that cops put their lives on the lines each day that they put on their uniform, however, THAT CAREER PATH WAS A CHOICE. You CHOSE to become a cop. However, being Black, white, Asian, Latino, etc., is not something that a person gets to choose. When you were conceived, your race was already chosen for you without your consent. With that being said, a person should NOT be penalized for being Black. That’s who they are. See, a cop can choose to take off his uniform and decide to quit the force if he wants to. But a Black person can’t take off their skin color. It is with them for the rest of their lives and the minute that they walk out of the house with their skin color on, they immediately become a target for a racist, trigger-happy cop. So please know that Black people put their lives on the line just as much as cops do.

But…maybe I’m wrong. America, share your thoughts.

Sonica

IT’S YOU!

It’s You!

Sometimes when I am cruising thru Facebook, I am amused at some of the things that people say. Quite often, I notice a trend when it comes to people and the things that they go thru in life that they choose to share on Facebook. The trend is that people choose not to accept responsibility for their own actions. Instead of them realizing that THEY are the reason why certain things don’t go well sometimes in their life, they rather say things such as:

• I know that the Lord is just putting me thru a test.
• The devil is busy.
• The devil is attacking me because God is getting ready to bless me.

      Now don’t get me wrong; I strongly believe that God sends us all thru a test quite often. There are many instances when God will test your faith by allowing you to go thru things. But let’s get real; not EVERYTHING that you go thru is about your faith being tested. Sometimes, a person may be going thru things and always find themselves in the midst of drama because of their OWN wrong doing. So for those of you that think that you are always going thru a test of faith, I have compiled a “YOUR FAULT” list, meaning that it’s a list of things that has absolutely NOTHING to do with your faith being tested or that the “devil is busy.” Instead, it has everything to do with the fact that you may be irresponsible.

So here are a few scenarios:

• You’ve been trying for years to lose fifty pounds that you claim is just “baby fat.” However, you continue to eat the wrong things and not exercise. So not only are you gaining extra weight but now you have high blood pressure. It’s not a test of faith; it’s YOUR FAULT.

• You are late for work every day and have been given one warning after another about your tardiness. To add insult to injury, you spend your time at work gossiping, surfing the web, and talking on the work phone to your baby daddy. So when it’s time for promotions to be handed out, not only do you not receive one but the company decides to terminate you. It’s not a test of faith; it’s YOUR FAULT.

• All of your life, you haven’t done anything except chase women. While several of your friends have made wonderful lives for themselves, you’ve spent most of your youthful years smoking a massive amount of weed and sleeping around. So now you have eight kids by eight women and you’re up to your forehead in debt because of all of the child support that you are forced to pay. You’re angry at everyone except yourself for the choices that YOU made. It’s not a test of faith; it’s YOUR fault.

      Please know that I am not writing this blog to judge anyone about what they’ve done or not done in their lives. Besides, I’m not perfect by NO stretch of the imagination. I’m simply pointing out that we all must learn to accept responsibility for our own actions. Once we choose to do that, we will then realize that we could’ve avoided many pitfalls that we’ve experienced in life. But maybe I’m wrong. America, what do you think?

Sonica

The Impact of Media

 

Media has a huge impact on just about everything society does.  From “fake” reality tv, to the hottest scenes on “Scandal”,  to FOX news.  We must not forgot social media and the way people spend countless hours scrolling away.  As humans  we absorb it all like a sponge.  The effects of media  impulsively incline society to  react to the image portrayed.  So much that it has become the norm.  Basically to the point that if it does not contain some level of negativity and/or drama, many  may not be interested to even indulge.  Have we allowed “media” to sculpt our society?  How do we regain control of our communities interest?

Conquering  the problem from the source is vital in these times.  The images that are shown in everyday media are to cultivate an idealism and thought process for the wave of society to copy.  This is a huge problem when the images we see 88% of the time are that of violence, immoral genres, and commercially structured REALITY!

As a society we must realign ourselves with the importance of family foundation which will strengthen the household.  There is a need to  reinstall core values and the the feeling  of security.  Reestablishing  our community involvement is also very important.  When you look around there are far more people who want to see change than those who don’t.  There needs to be more time sacrificed from this majority in order to really be a progressive community.  Time is precious to us all, however it is also free to give.  Time can be the rise or fall of your community.  Most importantly love of self.  When people look at images on the t.v. they mimic what they see .  A lot of times people loose themselves because they are lost in character.  Self love allows you to create a unique YOU, regardless off what media portrays.  Lastly, simply doing a nice clean sweep on negative social media friends/followers.  Sometimes is not only the company you keep in the physical but also in the virtual world.

Negative media will judge, investigate and create tension. However, our generation has control over what we allow in our own lives.   What we see in media should not define our character as a culture.   We must challenge ourselves to create a demand for better images of ourselves in the media.

 

To Support or Not To Support

When I observe people that are from another race and/or culture other than Black, I notice how very supportive they can be of each other. If you don’t believe me, take a good look at how Asians, Mexicans (especially Mexicans) and White people interact with each other. They work together to make sure that everyone is able to climb the ladder of success. If one of “their own” is in trouble or is trying to do better in life, they will give them support and will even try to find ways to help them along.

But with Black folks…it’s something different.

As a Black woman, I try to support my own but I see it as a double-edged sword. Let me explain by giving you a scenario: Let’s say that “Trina” is trying to open up a soul food restaurant. Before her grandmother passed away, she gave Trina most of her food recipes such as how to make a sweet potato pie and the best fried chicken you ever wanted to sink your teeth into. After spending some time making each item to perfection, she took the inheritance that her grandmother left her and she opened up a restaurant.

She promoted her business tremendously, telling her family and friends to spread the word about her new business. To her dismay, she found out very quickly that not all of her family and friends were happy about her blessing. In fact, the majority of them didn’t even bother to come to the grand opening or even tell anyone else about it. They tried to talk her out of the idea with their negative statements, thinking that her idea was a pipe dream. It was hard as nails to get her own kind to support her business but when it became a success, they were the main ones trying to get a piece of the pie.

But here’s another scenario:

Tyrone just started a pool cleaning service. He’s passing out flyers, making business cards, and even bought himself a truck. His first client is a lady by the name of “Melissa”. She just bought her a home and there’s a pool in her backyard that she needs to get cleaned. Someone gives her one of Tyrone’s flyers and she decided to give him a call and set up an appointment. When he arrives to her home, not only is he three hours late, but he did sloppy work. To add insult to injury, he didn’t even finish the job and had the nerve to ask for more money, telling her that he will need it to “buy more supplies”. He also left early with the excuse of “I have to go pick my babymama up from the hair salon.”

So what did Melissa do? She decided to look in the yellow pages and call another company…a PROFESSIONAL company. It was a white guy by the name of “Bob” and he showed up on time. Not only did he finish the job but he also repaired the damage that Tyrone created! She was very well pleased and decided that she will only go with Bob whenever she needs her pool cleaned.

So with the two scenarios that I presented to you, do you see how it can a double-edged sword when it comes to having a Black business? Either they won’t get the support that they need or they are unprofessional. But…I may be wrong. What do YOU think, America?

Sonica

The Real Thugs

                           

 

Long time ago when I was living in Atlanta, I moved into this predominantly white neighborhood. I was minding my own business, unpacking my belongings, and trying to decorate the place. After a few hours, I heard someone knocking on my door, introducing himself as “Lucas.” He stated to me that he and his wife lived next door and that they’ve lived in the neighborhood for years.

Since he seemed friendly at first, I introduced myself and told him a little bit about where I was from. It seemed like he was being just a nice ‘Welcome to the Neighborhood’ type of person, right?

Well, it was what he said in his last statement that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up: He said, “Over in this neighborhood, we are used to certain customs. So we just don’t want any trouble over here.” Immediately, I knew exactly what he meant when he said that and I was rather insulted. However, I still felt the need to ask him, “What do you mean when you say that you don’t want any trouble?”

He answered, “Well, we just don’t like a bunch of fighting and a lot of noise.”

Instead of acting like the angry “Black” woman like I’m sure he expected, I simply ended the conversation by informing him that I needed to get back to unpacking. Of course, my mood was pretty messed up for the rest of the day but I was still glad that I handled the matter in a non-violent way. For those of you that may not understand why I felt disrespected by his statement, let me explain:

As a Black woman, I have grown accustomed to knowing the real meaning behind certain statements that white people have the tendency to make. Because I was a Black woman moving into a predominantly white neighborhood, he automatically thought that I was going to bring ‘trouble’ to the neighborhood, which is why he said, “We just don’t want any trouble over here.”

What he didn’t know was that I moved to the neighborhood so that I wouldn’t be bothered with trouble either! But because of the pigmentation in my skin, he thought that I was going to be just another ‘Black girl’ with an attitude, fighting in the streets, talking loud and ghetto, finger snappin’, neck rollin’, with a trail of kids behind me by six different men.

What he also didn’t know was that I’m an author, college graduate, I’m ambitious, I feed the homeless, and I love God. Of course, I didn’t owe him an introduction of myself but it angered me to know that he was more interested in knowing whether or not I would terrorize the neighborhood, as if ALL Black people are nothing but heartless thugs. Well, here’s my theory:

1. The REAL thugs are those police officers that have no problem shooting innocent Black people like Michael Brown and supporting it. THEY are the ones that are terrorizing the neighborhoods.
2. The REAL thugs are those police officers that feel the need to abuse their authority by finding whatever reason they can to brutalize a Black person.
3. The REAL thugs are those that dress in white sheets with white hoods over their faces, lynching and killing Black people out of pure hatred.
4. The REAL thugs are the judges that send innocent Black men and women to prison to be a part of modern-day slavery.
5. The REAL thugs are the ones that kick Black people out of restaurants because a couple of white patrons feel “threatened” just by their presence.

But…maybe I’m wrong.   America, what are your thoughts?

Sonica

R.I.P Robin Williams

 

 R.I.P Robin Williams

 

 

On August 11, 2014, this world lost one of the most beloved and talented comedians by the name of Robin Williams. It was reported that he committed suicide by hanging himself. Allegedly, he was suffering from depression and he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, the same disease that actor Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with.

America, I’m not going to make this a very long blog in regards to this topic and I most certainly am not going to make it sappy. However, I will say that depression is a relentless demon that no one should take lightly. If the reports are correct that Robin Williams suffered from depression, let me be the first to say that this is serious business.

I’ve experienced depression twice and it makes you not want to live…at all. I didn’t care about life because the problems seemed like they were too much to bear and I wanted nothing to do with this world. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts because I felt that leaving this world was the only answer to getting out of the mess that I was in. I just simply didn’t care about life anymore and I just wanted to be in heaven with God.

But then I started to think about the people that I would hurt if I chose to take my own life. See, if you choose to commit suicide, please remember that it’s not all about you; it’s about the other people that you hurt in the process. They have to live with the hurt that their loved one is no longer around. They have to deal with the pain of wondering what it is that they could’ve done to stop this act from happening and some people even go as far as to blame themselves, believing that they should’ve paid attention to the signs.

Let me be the first to say that I am NOT here to judge Robin Williams on the decision he made to take his own life. That’s between him and God. But speaking from my own personal experience, I had to seriously look for God to save me thru the turmoil that I was going thru. I still had a little bit of ‘fight’ left in me and because of that reason, I continued to look for God to fix the situation…and He did. My faith in God was the thing that kept me going and that’s why I’m here today.

For those of you that are contemplating suicide, please know that professional help is available. There are trained therapists that can help walk you thru whatever situation that you might be facing. God put them here for a reason so don’t be ashamed to reach out to them for help. Besides, once you realize how temporary your problem is, you’ll start to realize how beautiful life is.

 

Sonica

 

Was She Wrong?

A school teacher by the name of Lekeshia Jones was fired in Georgia, after some of her students hacked into her phone and posted her nude selfies online. Not only did they post her selfies online, they also shared the pics with their friends. Of course, all of this was done without Jones’ permission and as a result, she lost her teaching job.

Many people, such as myself, were outraged that the school officials didn’t punish the students for their wrongdoing of hacking into Jones’ phone and sharing her personal pics without her permission. Instead, the school officials blamed the whole incident on her by saying that she was “negligent” with property. However, the question that stems from my mind is that, ‘How was she being negligent if, according her, the phone was put away INSIDE of her desk?’ Allegedly, that’s where the students found the phone. Furthermore, her phone was password protected but the students hacked into it.

Oh, but the tee-hee-hee is that allegedly, Jones’ knew about the incident about a month ago after someone informed her that her racy photos were loaded online. However, Jones’ didn’t report it. According to the news, she tried to handle the situation herself by tracking down the students and confronting them about the matter.

America, what do YOU think about this matter? Do you think that the school board was fair in terminating Lekeshia Jones? Honestly, I don’t believe that Ms. Jones should’ve gotten fired for the simple fact that her phone is HER property and if she wanted to take naked pictures of herself, it’s her life and that’s her business. She’s an adult whereas the students are not. In fact, the students should’ve been the ones to get reprimanded for not only stealing someone else’s property but also hacking into their private information.

At the present moment, Jones is pressing charges against the students and suing the school board for what happened to her. However, I don’t think that the lawsuit will be as easy to win as she might think. Why? Well, although the students were completely wrong for their actions, I’m sure that any judge and/or attorney will point out that Jones was the one that chose not to report the incident when it first happened.

She chose to handle it herself, not realizing that the school board would still find out about it. Had she reported it immediately, she probably would’ve still had her job at Myers Elementary school. Even if the school chose not to punish the students involved, at least she would’ve had something on paper that showed that she did go to the proper authorities to get the manner handled. In this day and age, when there’s no paper trail or camera footage, you will have a hard time winning a case.

Although I’m not a teacher, I do know that you have to handle students with care and only trust them to a very limited degree because unfortunately, the school board will mainly support the actions of the students versus the actions of the teachers. They will mainly protect the students, leaving teachers defenseless. This situation is rather sad because as hard as it is to find AND keep a job, this teacher has to now regroup and try to put this matter behind her as much as possible.

Sonica

“Beautiful Chaos” Behind The Scenes Of Fashion Week Cleveland (FWC)

 

Being behind the scenes of FWC Glam Jam put alot into perspective for me on how a production of this magnitude is executed. Fresh AveNew’s whole idealism was to bring a spotlight to how awesome it is for our city to have a fashion week, because many of my peers did not know it even existed. We attended 90% of the volunteer meetings to get a clear understanding of the process and to assist behind stage with the designers and models. FWC was started 10 years ago by a “gentleman” named Donald Shingler. Scratch that…there was absolutley NOTHING gentle about this man. His attitude towards his crew and volunteers was almost unbearable in a lot of cases. Many would agree that his lack of support and appreciation to the artistic/project director really baffled me. Considering this was her first show, it was almost to the point where it was evident that he was setting this young woman up for ultimate failure.

Designers entered a contract that stated they were to pay an entrance fee for the runway show. This fee was supposed to include models, hair and make up for the models and also PR. Well the models VOLUNTEERED. They were not paid. Also their was one person doing hair for 60 models, who might I add VOLUNTEERED her own products and time. As far as make-up was concerned no one available. A “VOLUNTEER” decided to contact someone she knew who was unavailable until 6:00 p.m. By the time the make-up artist arrived, she had to do alsmost 60 faces with a call time for the runway show at 9:00 p.m.!!! A few models missed line up behind this. Some designers proceeded to do their own models hair and make-up. Lastly there was little to no press!!! And to top it all off some designers paid a $100 entrance fee, some paid as much as $250 and some paid NOTHING!!! Huh???

However, there was something positive that came from this whole ordeal. The project/artistic director and her team did not give up despite of her lack of support and resources. The designers and assistants pressed beyond the negativaty and disorganization when many wanted to pull out at the last minute. The designers and their assistants encouraged each other and offered an ear when someone needed to vent. What needs to be understood is that fashion is not just something to wear and be admired by the consumer. To these designers fashion is their LIFE! That is something that should not be taken lightly especially from the person (DONALD), who is the machine behind FWC. I personally feel he could care less about the stress that he placed on these designers as long as he recouped the residual income.

In this day and age we should be ever wise of “opportunist” and know when we are being used. We should demand our credit and make valid our importance in every milestone we are involved. There is a non-comforming admiration for people who we think have monetary status. This is what I call “silent superiority”. We should not be subject to the circumcision of our quality as human beings to acquire benefit. Never succumb to one’s status quo to jeopardize our integrity.

“Building A Village”

 

 

You know how the old saying goes… “It takes a village to raise a child”.  However, what do you do when your village is broken? 

We are so far gone from the days where we marched together for a common goal (unless someone is racially murdered) .  The sense of unity then was unbreakable.  I feel we have been corrupted with this “every man for himself” mentality.  It should not and does not have to be this way!  We need to find ways to trust each other again as a community.  I feel that we must go back to a common goal that we all believe in order to rebuild our foundation. 

For instance, in the election of 2012, the urban communities of Cuyahoga County came out in record breaking numbers to support our vote for Barack Obama.  Our vote alone in little Northeast Ohio sent Obama to the white house.  That fact alone lets me know that as long as it sparks an interest we are going to support in the masses. 

So the issue with violence and poverty needs to be just as intriguing to get us to wake up and fight for a common goal to educate our youth.  Furthermore, with this way of thinking we are providing support for those single parents struggling to raise their child/children. The more educated they are the less reluctant the youth will be to throw their lives away to violence and settling for less are my thoughts. Weigh in on your thoughts.

Always LOVE- Fresh Avenew

 

Marrying The Family- Blood and Love

So everyone in this universe is probably familiar with the infamous Solange and Jay Z elevator altercation…. OMG!!! So what happens at the Memorial Day cook-out!!!

To be completely honest it concerned me to see this.  It is always painful to be caught in a situation where the one you love is having problems with the in-laws. It creates an nasty friction in the family. When children such as sons, daughters, nephews and nieces are involved, it is harder to create a loving environment at family functions. Talk about AWKWARD!!! The reality is many of us have encountered this problem.  

The question is how do we resolve it without destroying relationships and family structure. We all know what the problem is.  Share your thoughts on how you or someone you know has resolved an issue such as this. Holla at me because I need to understand!!